Bye 2020... you've been something else
I hope you all had the best Christmas possible given the restrictions. I personally had enough cheese, chocolate and wine to last me until next Christmas... but no regrets, I've loved every minute. We went for a super long walk today and being in the fresh air was just what I needed.
I know all of your social feeds will be flooded with everyone's reflections on this mad year as we move to new years eve/new years day. You like me have probably been looking back thinking how have we gone through 9 months of this with the year mark just around the corner! Well I thought I would get in early and give some of my reflections on the year, positive and negative because let's face it, you can’t be positive all the time as much as society wants us to be.
What have I struggled with? Not just covid. This year goes far beyond just covid for me. And what I’ve learnt is you never know what is going on behind closed doors and what battles people are facing. Speaking with friends and family, people haven’t just been affected by covid but have had other troubles going on in their life all the more heightened because of the impacts of covid. I have been so reliant on the virtual love of family and friends to take me through a tough time and without that this year would have been even worse. We are encouraged to stay ‘strong’ and get on with things. But I know now it’s ok to not be strong all the time. We are human. We have feelings, emotions and vulnerabilities. And that is all completely valid.
A positive… I’ve found a love for something I had completely disconnected with. Fashion. My confidence was tarnished from years of comparison and feelings of not being worthy. But I’ve reconnected to a love I lost over 10 years ago. It’s baby steps but I have such plans for the future and I can’t wait to help others. It’s exciting to feel like I am finally on the right path and I hope to share more with you all in the new year.
I’ve missed out on dreams, a direct result of covid, but I guess that's what the universe intended for me. All of my plans meant that I should currently be sat on a beach in the Philippines soaking in the sun. But my dreams to travel seem so far from reach now and as much as I don’t want to, I do regret not just seizing the opportunity earlier. You live and learn and I have definitely learnt not to wait for something. If something is within your reach go for it. Don’t wait because who knows what is around the corner. I know I'll travel in someway soon, it might just look a little different.
I’ve spent the year and this Christmas period with my best friend. Without him all of the above would have been so different. And I appreciate our relationship even more. It’s so easy to take your relationships for granted. But his strength, kindness and loving character I’ve fallen in love with all over again. And I am one lucky lady! When we got married people would always joke around with him that he was ‘punching’ to be with me… hahaha. But in reality I am the one punching. We’ve grown so much as a couple over the last 12 months than in the previous 5 years of our relationship. The hard times have bought us closer and he is my ultimate rock. I know he'll be so chuffed to read this.... don't get too happy Raj!
And so what are my resolutions for the new year? I don’t normally do resolutions but I feel like there are a ton of learnings this year and it would be silly to not take something from each. (don’t worry its not to lose loads of weight!) I vow to…
Continue my journey of developing a deeper self respect for myself - that means loving myself for me
Pursue my passion and let it bloom into something beautiful - I have so many ideas and can't wait to work on something I truly enjoy
Be grateful for everything I have - but only when it feels right for me, no pressure to be grateful all of the time
If you got this far thank you for reading! I hope in some way my blog posts and social media this year have have been relatable, helped you get to know me better and have been entertaining in some way or another. I’ve loved putting everything together and can’t wait to share more in the new year. Thank you to each and everyone one of you that has read and engaged with me, it honestly means the world and has given me the confidence to pursue my new path. I hope you all have great new years celebrations and I’ll see you in 2021!
Peace out 2020.
Love Neelam xxx
P.s I would love to hear your reflections on the year, good and bad. Sharing mine has helped me realise just how much I've had to deal with in 2020 and what a bad ass I really am... hahaha x