• neelammistrythaker

Internal dialogue, body confidence and style


To all those celebrating this weekend, wishing you a Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year! Despite the circumstances I hope you were able to celebrate with your loved ones either in person or through the power of technology! I felt such a positive energy this weekend and intend to take that through with me in my week.


You may have noticed I’m taking a bit more time to invest in my social posts and they have revolved around personal style, mindset and using fashion in a sustainable way to express your style. I’ve realised how fun styling is. I always wanted to go into fashion from a young age but in all honesty the industry scared me and I talked myself out of it - I thought it was too competitive or too niche. That negative, mindless chatter stopped me. Your internal dialogue can often affect your confidence in so many ways, including in how you choose to dress. Style is a form of personal expression. We all have our own style personality but often you may find that your confidence or lack of style understanding leaves you feeling completely disheartened.


After speaking with a few friends and family members I’ve seen such a pattern in behaviour. People have confided that they often walk into a shop (or with the current situation to a website) and get lost with the endless options. They take a walk around the shop, often battling a growing internal fear of what to pick or thoughts that they could never wear certain items. They then walk out of the shop feeling completely deflated, returning to their wardrobe of dark colours and baggy clothing to hide their body. It's a vicious cycle that is often provoked by that negative internal dialogue.


A lot of these thoughts stem from the way in which we consume media related to weight and weight loss, the endless fitness posts, an unrealistic pressure for you to have a flat stomach and curves in just the right places and the demand to be wearing the latest throw away fashion piece. In a time where mental health is already being challenged, be careful what accounts you follow and the energy you are taking from them. Social media is not real life, you are only getting a glimpse into someone's life, not the full story.


I was doing a course a few weeks back which encouraged me to consider my values. I had never really done an exercise like this before and one area that came up for me was my level of self respect. Often my self respect has lacked and I speak to myself internally in ways that bring my confidence down. This can be around any area of life from my weight to my relationships. Having self respect not only shows your value for yourself but also encourages others to treat you with that same respect.


In my Instagram post last week I suggested ways in which you can use self care practices to generate self love and confidence which you can then use to express externally in how you use your style. Some things that have really worked for me include using a manifestation technique during meditation to visualise my dreams. This could be any dream from being confident to wear a certain style of clothing to moving into your dream career. Visualise yourself doing what you dream of and imagine the feelings that come with it. Feel the abundance and warmth of living out your dream. It does wonders for your thinking and sets such a tone in how you move throughout your day. If you struggle with body confidence, visualise yourself at your best in an outfit of your dreams and soak in all that positive emotion you feel from this scenario.


Another technique is to try gratitude journalling or you can even speak with a close friend about what you are grateful for. For example, you may be grateful for your body and all the things it allows you to do from caring for your children to walking down the street. That gratitude allows a positive energy to flow and will help generate confidence in that area of your life. Raj and I have started discussing each night before bed one thing we are grateful for that day. It could be anything. But going to sleep on that positive energy leaves me with such a good sleep. So if you don’t feel like writing, try talking about it instead.


The purpose of writing this post was to show that you can overcome these negative thoughts around body confidence. You can wear what you want, express your style and feel good in your body. It doesn’t need to take fad diets or unrealistic fitness programs to bring body confidence. If your fears and insecurities are driven by your perception of what society thinks then the actual route cause is your mindset. Yes I care about what I eat and I like to exercise because it makes me feel good, but what brings real satisfaction is having an inner confidence. If anyone is struggling with this concept feel free to reach out and we can discuss it further.


Hope you are having a lovely Sunday!


x

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