• neelammistrythaker

Turning 30 and evolving

I wanted this blog to be a general lifestyle site as opposed to a specific niche such as food, travel, fashion etc. And I’ve been playing around with the type of content I wanted to write about. I realised I wanted to not only cover the fun topics such as the above but also talk about more serious things that before I probably would have been too afraid to talk about.

All my fellow 89/90’s babies turned/turning 30, or those that have been through a change, I’m wondering if you can relate to this.

In the last 7 months, since turning 30 in January, my life has been on a bit of a roller coaster. I’ve had some great highs and with it some lows that have tested my resilience, my relationships and my mental and probably physical health. I feel like I have hit and crossed over that hurdle of transitioning from a timid and scared girl to a more, slowly getting there, confident woman. I’ve made decisions that I never would have had the strength or courage to do before.

I’m not sure about you, but I found my 20’s quite confusing. I think there is such a leap from moving from a teenager to an ‘adult’ where you are trying to be self sufficient and make your life ‘perfect’. As if such a thing even exists!

For some this may hit you earlier in your life as you move through things such as career changes, marriage, having children, buying a new home etc. However for me, I think turning 30 was where something completely shifted in my energies and perspective. I don’t by any means have it all figured out, but i feel like that shift in perspective will now open doors that never even existed before.

So what do I feel has changed?

1. My perspective on life - my realisation as to what I want from life has completely evolved. I understand what I want from my future but also how I need to live in the present in order to achieve that. I read a great book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle which explains what it really means to live in the present and, in doing so, how you can reach true happiness and enlightenment. It's a heavy topic but I'm starting to realise that as much as we can plan the future, whatever is in our destiny will be. We can manifest and work towards future goals but at the end of the day all we have that is concrete is the present moment. Learn to live it and love it and do the things that make you the happiest.

2. My relationships - instead of chasing toxic relationships I’ve learnt to keep people close to me that treat me with the respect I know I deserve. Sometimes we go through life seeking validation from people who just aren’t going to give it to you. We become obsessed with seeking approval or constantly feeling inferior. But why? What does that achieve? We are all unique and individual. If you are ‘not good enough’ for someone then why look to seek approval. Concentrate on the people that don't require you to validate yourself and who treat you for the kind and beautiful soul you are. At the end of the day, when did they decide who was or wasn't good enough? Who really has the power to do that?

3. How I use my words - looking at the way I speak to myself internally and having more respect for myself as well as those around me. I’ve learnt to use my words in a better way, not only when speaking to others but also to myself. I have experienced and seen instances where words can really affect someone's self esteem. I’ve vowed to myself to treat myself and others with a bit more respect. To think before I speak (or type) and to realise that words are one of the most powerful things we have.

There is a famous rhyme… ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’.

Words in fact can have the biggest impact on a person. Think before you speak and think about what impact your words can have on others. Often I think we can speak without realising what effecr our words are having on the other person.

These are just some of the ways I have seen myself develop in the last few months and the noticeable changes I have made. I honestly feel like they have made me mentaly healthier and happier. I hope by sharing this it inspires more of you to talk about your changes and how things have developed for you. I feel like sharing this may make some people realise just how much their perspective has changed and how they have grown, sometimes without even realising it! I think its so important to acknowledge that growth.

Can you relate to this? Have you seen a shift in your perspective and your path? I would love to hear your story and what changes have helped you.


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